This feature sees Dr Talat Uppal in conversation with women’s health leaders in a broad range of leadership positions. We hope you find this an interesting and inspiring read.

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Introducing Samantha Payne

Samantha Payne is the Co-founder and CEO of the Pink Elephants Support Network, an organisation dedicated to supporting women through the often-silent grief of early pregnancy loss. Following her own experiences with miscarriage, Samantha recognised a glaring gap in emotional support services and decided to create a space where no one would have to walk the journey of pregnancy loss alone. Over the past nine years, Pink Elephants has become a vital resource for women across Australia, offering peer support and evidence-based resources to help process the grief of losing a baby.

What inspired you to establish the Pink Elephants Support Network, and how have your personal experiences shaped your approach to leadership in this field?

I was angry at the lack of support being offered to me. My babies had died, yet no one would acknowledge my grief or their existence. I knew that if one in four pregnancies ended in loss, I couldn’t be the only woman feeling isolated in her grief. I wanted to talk to other mums who had experienced miscarriages, but there was so much silence, shame, and stigma around the experience that I couldn’t find any.

I was connected to Gabbi (co-founder, Gabbi Armstrong), who had her own journey. She gave me support like no one else could—she didn’t try to fix me; she just let me grieve. Together, we decided to create a support group for others like us, and over the last nine years, it has continued to grow. The demand is real, and the difference we make is something I’m incredibly proud of. Fundamentally, I believe that no one should walk the journey of pregnancy loss alone; everyone deserves a circle of support.

What significant challenges have you encountered in advocating for early pregnancy loss support, and how have you navigated these obstacles to effect change?

At first, no one wanted to talk about it. Those around me thought I was crazy for setting up a charity for what they perceived as ‘just an early loss’ or ‘nature’s way.’ Over time, with the growth and impact of Pink Elephants, those opinions have started to shift. I’d say it has been about consistently showing up and sharing the real stories of women like me who have been deeply

impacted by the loss of their babies. This has helped shift the narrative from ‘at least it happened early’ to ‘I’m sorry your baby died—here’s where you can access support.’

It’s still challenging to foster empathy from those who haven’t experienced a loss. Miscarriages can be deeply isolating, and women often share with us how no one in their friends and family group understands, which is why peer support from Pink Elephants makes such a difference. On the whole, most health professionals believe this is a huge gap and want to offer more for their patients, but there just hasn’t been a place to refer them to until
Pink Elephants.

I remember one conversation with a doctor at a conference who argued we weren’t needed and that in his day, women just got on with it. Needless to say, I had an enlightening conversation with him about the rates of poor mental health outcomes associated with a lack of support after miscarriage. Sometimes, experience alone isn’t enough. We underpin everything we do at Pink Elephants with evidence and empathy. We’re across the research in this space; we advocate for our communities and we build meaningful services that make a real impact.

We underpin everything we do at Pink Elephants with evidence and empathy.”

In what ways has the rise of digital health influenced the support services provided by Pink Elephants, and what potential do you see for further innovation in this space?

From the beginning, in 2016, we had a digital approach to connecting women. We understood that women wanted to be heard and have their experiences met with empathy and understanding, and this didn’t need to happen in person. Apart from in-person support being much harder to facilitate and scale, it also felt outdated and not in line with what Pink Elephants represented, we wanted to be different.

Social media proved to be the perfect platform for us to initially connect with women, form online support groups, and lead them back to our website for emotional support literature. From a business perspective, this was much easier to scale and moderate with volunteers. It also meant we could connect with rural and remote Australians who wouldn’t be able to access face-to-face support groups. Our reach and impact grew significantly during COVID-19, with the world ‘going digital’ and people becoming more confident seeking health support online. A digital approach is at the heart of Pink Elephants’ success and will continue to be a core component of how we deliver support.

How do you balance the emotional demands of your advocacy work with the strategic requirements of leading a not-for-profit organisation?

I am a strategic leader with strong business acumen. I thrive leading our team on our shared mission and bringing all the elements together to create forward momentum and action. I’m also a natural advocate and storyteller—that’s where I really shine. I can make people listen and understand our needs.

I have an incredible team. We all have different strengths and weaknesses, and we collaborate to create a powerful circle of support. The success of Pink Elephants has been, and always will be, a team effort. I am still deeply touched by people’s experiences, and they continue to drive me to raise more awareness and support.

I care deeply and am naturally a very empathetic person. Over time, I’ve learned to give myself strong boundaries to avoid burnout from the emotional load of taking on others’ experiences. This isn’t always easy. I remember recording our podcast, we did three episodes back-to-back in one day. I was deeply triggered and vowed never to do that again. It’s not easy bearing witness to so much pain while also seeing a different possible way like—why on earth are we still seating women in waiting rooms next to other pregnant women when they are experiencing a miscarriage?

It’s not easy bearing witness to so much pain while also seeing a different possible way—like, why on earth are we still seating women in waiting rooms next to other pregnant women when they are experiencing a miscarriage?”

What is your long-term vision for Pink Elephants, and how do you plan to continue driving the conversation on early pregnancy loss within the broader healthcare community?

I believe it’s possible for everyone to understand how to support someone who has gone through pregnancy loss. I see a future filled with deep empathy and understanding from health professionals, workplaces, and the community. I believe we will wake up to the real grief and profound impact of losing a baby at any gestation and stop minimising the experience with ‘at least.’

Workplaces will have clear bereavement leave policies for any pregnancy loss and will be equipped with internal peer support companions and offer meaningful support. Healthcare professionals will stop using language such as ‘spontaneous abortion’ and will understand the need to provide clear referral pathways to Pink Elephants after a pregnancy loss, so women are not at risk of poor mental health outcomes. Communities will respectfully acknowledge the loss and know what to say and how to support women and their partners through their grief. Governments will fund support for all women and ensure a safe, non-trauma-inducing healthcare system, alongside a health strategy that is inclusive of all perinatal losses.

To learn more about Pink Elephants and access their range of support services, visit www.pinkelephants.org.au.
You can also follow their journey and connect with the community on Instagram and Facebook at
@pinkelephantssupport.